Menu
Best Man Cave Fridge
By Jack Hansen | Appliances
For a man to truly call himself a man, he must first conquer the lofty peaks of correct food preservation; or in most cases, how to keep the brewskis fresh and cool. If we visit a friend’s Man Cave and the guy has the audacity to serve us a lukewarm, piss temperature Miller, we will have no other recourse but to challenge him to a respectable duel. Kill him where he stands, spit on his sissy corpse and afterward bed his widow on top of his grave.
“Gentleman of the jury, I would like to direct your eyes to exhibit A.”
“Is that?!” Gasp.
“That’s right, a room temperature Budweiser!”
“Case dismissed! Bailiff, release this hero. Lads, get your pitchforks and torches, we have to haunt the bastard’s spawns! We can’t let his deviant DNA spread across this country!”
Ranking | Product | Our Rating | Price |
|---|---|---|---|
1 | |||
2 | |||
3 | |||
4 | |||
5 |
A fridge is a fridge, right? WRONG! Ignore the awesomeness that a fridge can become and you’re doing a disservice for all of your loyal man cave dwellers. Alright, we know you’re thinking we’re full of sh*t. But seriously, there are quite a few things to think of before you get a fridge for the man cave and the information below will help.
I’ll talk real slow, on account that your question seems to insinuate that you lived under power lines as a kid…
You… Need… A … Fridge… To… Conserve… Food….
Or, to be more the exact, you numb nuts, cause beer needs to be treated with respect.
If it’s too big, you are only inviting disaster. Your wife, knocking at your castle gate asking a loaded question, “Honey, the kitchen fridge is full, can I keep the dip I made for the girls in yours?” If anything, but the fact that you “don’t have room” splutters out of your lips, then you’ve sealed your fate; prepare for that ONE-time thing to become a regular occurrence. That’s right, the first thing you need to balance out is size. Will it fit? What am I going to stuff it with? How much beer do I need in reserve?
“What? What? Did you say something?” Some fridges are so noisy that they make a Metallica Concert seem positively quaint by comparison.
Take into account how many beers and packs of beef jerky you’re liable to stuff into the fridge. It is imperative to envision whether you’re going to shove the Pizza you ordered in one sitting or if you’re going to leave a slice or two for tomorrow’s breakfast.
Smooth shelves are easier to wipe down. If you go for a wire model, then prepare to work hard for the spotty zero-bacteria finish… In other words: “Dude, there’s something hanging from one of the racks. It just winked at me…” If you’re going to be “that guy” at least know that going in.
Fridges, there are thousand of them, but to be really cool they need some clearly definable thingamajig to toss them ahead of their equals. Some magic doodad, some bells and whistles, some punch, in order to lure your credit card in and get you to “adopt” them for a hefty price. Some have neon lights, others USB electrical connections, a few their own tab and a couple even have mounted Bluetooth speakers. What is most important to you?
The fridge doors can be made of all sorts of materials; glass, metal, rubber, formica, and even hippie recycled trash. Take into consideration your level of sloppiness. If you simply pack everything in and believe that cleaning up is a choice and not a duty, then don’t even play with the idea buying a glass door (it’s a bitch to wash and it will display, for all to see, the pig you truly are).
There are 4 types of fridges to contemplate when shopping. French door, side-by-side, top freezer and bottom freezer. Truth be told, you are a man and the only thing you REALLY need to know regarding your new man cave fridge is whether or not it will take a keg in its belly.
Ranking | Product | Our Rating | Price |
|---|---|---|---|
1 | |||
2 | |||
3 | |||
4 | |||
5 |
Quality
Price
Our Rating
Made by the lads that thrust out the actually amps Mick Jagger and his band of misfits are so hung-up on. This convenient fridge can store all sorts of alcoholic libations. Only a nancy boy would dare defile this hard as nails goddess with the likes of Avian water or Coca Cola Light. Buy this fridge then immediately proceed to the nearest tattoo parlor and get a dragon etched on your sleeve
Quality
Price
Our Rating
Yes, this bad boy is one costly Mother-f’er but there is nothing cooler for a handyman, for a macho, I’ll fix that in a second, hombre than a refrigerator that also has a place to store your power tools. Can’t find a bottle cap opener? No sweat! Pry open one of this beauty’s roller bearing guided doors and fish out a drill or a hammer.
Quality
Price
Our Rating
The family friendly, lacks imagination, gets the job done and is incredibly cheap and durable option. The sort of fridge that one in 5 friends is liable to have. This is the safe bet. If you simply want somewhere to store your soda cans. Some icebox that, at the end of the day, you’re certain that you’ve made the right decision about… Then click on the link and buy the Mini-Van of Man Cave Fridge options.
Quality
Price
Our Rating
It’s small, It’s dandy, and It might as well come with a girl on skates whizzing about your room, asking for your Varsity Jacket. This little doohickey is an actual old-time Coke dispenser. Open the baby up and switch those cans of soda pop for something a bit more “Caliente.”
Quality
Price
Our Rating
Kingsbottle is the Bose of Fridge. It is the Beats of beer bunkers. Each fridge has been carefully designed and maintained with the best materials imaginable. This fridge will do things with cooler temperatures that will have Frosty the Snowman look up in fright and say, “Magic! Call a lynch mob, that’s a heretic piece of furniture!” So many features that you would likely need a whole article just to write down a few.
We at Man Cave Mastery piss on any dimwit that drives a Minivan when he can score a Jag for the same price. As such, maintaining true to that philosophy, we will heartily lend our support to the Rock God model.
It’s simply the Mustang of all Man Cave fridges. It’s sleek, cool, wonderfully grunge and, best of all, it has safety glass shelves.
Now, if you happen to have hit the lottery, or have a side job selling organs on the black market, then, by all means, go out and buy yourself the Battlestar Galactica model.
