The crap isn’t just hitting the fan; it’s hitting the airline propeller. It’s all over the place, your wife’s screaming: “take out the trash!” Your kids, hysterical little demons that they are, begging you for: “Come on daddy, take us out, we want ice-cream. Give us ICE CREAM! ICE-CREAM!” Bills running stampede all over the place.

Suddenly, “ring”. You look down, a message from your ass-riding boss… “Bob, I need you at the office ASAP.”

Your day has become a donkey with a love for breakfast tacos that decided to have a bout with explosive diarrhea in front of a spinning turbine. It’s all over the place. You, my friend, need a refuge. A place to weather the storm. A sanctuary to bar the doors and shut the blinds. A holy place of rest, before you start nursing homicidal thoughts.

You map out your perimeter. You seek a fortress to make your last-stand. A closet, perhaps? A cubbyhole? The garage?

“Umm, with a few Christmas lights the outdoor shed seems promising…”

Regardless of the circumstances, you finally have a small room to call your own. The size of the room isn’t that big, but that’s not important right now. You finally have 300, 500, maybe even 700 square feet to yourself. Now it’s time to figure out what to put in that bad boy and this post will help.

1) The Darth Vader Toaster

There’s the Storm-Trooper toaster, there’s even one for those guys from Battlestar Galactica, but nothing says you’re a man, like crunching down on burned bread branded by the main Dark Sith Lord. Like they say, once you go dark - dark-side that is - you never go back.  You can get it by clicking here.

2) Captain America Waffle Maker

The true death-sentence for a man starts with the phrase: “Gluten Free.” Once your wife gets that bee up her bum, it will start to reproduce. Suddenly, anything that doesn’t taste like Styrofoam has been kicked to the cub. Your taste buds need to feel alive! With this little piece, you will not only be completing your duty as a man, but also as a patriot. Sugar, sugar and fat… Yummy and you can grab it here.

3) Polk Audio Soundbar

120 Watts of sound, seamless integration with any BlueRay or TV on the market, Bluetooth connection for your smartphone, 3D audio and enough “Oomph” to bring down the house. This is the sort of sound-bar the marines needed to speed up Noriega’s surrender in Panama.  Good for any small room because it's easy to hang and take up almost no room whatsoever.  Small unit, big sound, get it here.

4) EverBlock Building Blocks

Remember when you were knee-deep in LEGOS… What, just last week? You bought the LEGO Death Star Set? Can I come over and play? Well, anyhow, now you can build your furniture using oversized blocks of LEGOS. Room dividers, decorations, props, displays, even a table or two. The only thing keeping you without a cool looking arm table is your imagination, grab them here.

5) Black & Decker Single Serve Coffee Maker

It’s a travel mug and a coffee maker. It’s small, it gets the job done and it brews capsules that are pre-packaged… Do we really need to sell you on this? How perfect would it be to grab the morning news while slurping out of this thing. Do what's in your best interest and buy the damn thing by clicking here.

6) Death Wish Ground Coffee

Pablo Escobar peddled smack like the best, well, Pablito’s wares were child’s play compared to this caffeine hit. Death Wish coffee is the sort of java pick me up that kickstarts the heart, the brain and the colon, with a vengeance.

This is death metal dope, government approved, shot straight into your veins.Every man needs that jolt, that very jolt your wife’s gaze is trying to deprive you off every morning before facing the day.  Get this by clicking here.

7) Four Bottle Liquor Dispenser

Vodka, Rum, Whiskey and Gin, those are the four spirits every man should have on hand in his bar. It doesn’t matter the brand, it just matters - at the end of the day - that these guys hang tall in your fortress. Your best bet, if your man-cave is the size of a garbage bin, is to nail everything to the wall. The trick is to use every available space and you can get the four bottle liquor dispenser here.

8) Mr. Brew Craft Beer Making Kit

They say God created the world in seven days, well, now you too can be like a God and create something almost as perfect as the planet in the same time. There are about a dozen of these craft beer home brew kits out there but this one is affordable and can be stored pretty much anywhere, which is perfect for a small room. Get your beer brewing going by purchasing it here.

9) Stainless Steel Bullet Shaped Whiskey Stones

There’s a reason why most men are partly broke, it’s not because we buy shit, it’s because men need shit to be men. Women clutter up their closest with shoes, we find interesting ways to blow our paychecks.

Whiskey stones are a must for every hombre; a watered down drink tastes like piss on a cold day. Do you like the taste of piss? Nope! You’ll need a couple of stainless steel rocks to keep your drink perfectly chilled. Plus, and pardon the pun, this cocktail set aims to please; it’ll bang out a conversation right from the first shot.  Get it by clicking here.

10) Bulletproof Rocks Glass

Hip, hip, hurray to the military industrial complex! I spit on hippies and their mellow vibes. The only good hippy, is one with a mammoth cup-size and loose morals concerning threesomes and their twin sister. Every man’s glass should be a statement. It should stir conversations along, it should be sturdy and strong, it should be bulletproof. Well, this high quality glass can withstand the brunt of a bullet and still keep you sipping away like the macho man you truly are.  Become bulletproof by getting these glasses here.

11) Seville Classics Heavy Duty Storage Cabinet

Movable, with stainless steel doors, height adjustable shelves and 2 locks. The only way your missus is getting into your stuff, the only way she’ll discover your treasure trove of girl on girl action, is with a rocket launcher and a can do attitude.  Grab it by clicking here.

12) Money Beanbag

“The World Is Yours.”If you can’t be Scarface, if you don’t have the F-You money that he had, you might as well live the fantasy and show your buddies that your eye is on the prize. Beanbags are the sort of furniture that takes you back to your college days. They fit everywhere and have an amazing capability to give your man-cave, no matter its size, a nice pimp flare and it's available here.

13) Trekology Compact Portable Chairs

Adjustable, sturdy and light, you can store these babies in a corner, or in that nifty cabinet from above, and take them out whenever your buddies decide to invade your fox-hole. Best of all, due to their storage bag, you can also take them on a trip or down by the lake for some fishing.  Available by clicking here.

14) Intex Pull-out Chair Inflatable Bed

Eventually, you are going to screw up. Chances are high that you won’t even know what you did, chances are also high that your offense will be so hideous that your wife will give you a week long silent treatment. Did you use the guest towels? If so, then run for the hill, she’s rounding up a death squad. As such, every-so-often, you’ll need to find a place to haul up for the night. A place to lay your weary head and hope tomorrow the hormonal hurricane skipped your house and somehow hit your kid’s rooms.  A great escape and affordable as well, get it here.

15) Pizzazz Pizza maker

You want a pizza in your tiny man cave, but you don't have room for a stove or even a microwave.  Well good news, this sucker can handle your pizza and all of your small snack needs.  Grab it here.